Ex gfs nonsensical explosion

I always have a good laugh when I read this, I basically dumped this one because she was totally useless in bed, always making excuses like she was on her period. I might understand that a few times but this was every single week for like 2 months straight!! What a load of bs! I eventually told her I was seeing someone else and this is some of her ranting that followed (I didn't save all of it). What's also funny is she later told me she was seeing some other guy right after our first date:

Her:
Thank you for sharing, I'm happy you found whom you are looking.
But I cannot be your confidante in this matter , sorry.

Me:
A what?

Her:
I don't need to know details of your personal relationship.
That's your business and it does not concern me, or have any relevance to me nor adds any value to my life.

Me:
I just said happy xmas :O

Her:
Yes you should have stopped at merry christmas. Full stop.
Rather than using stupid owl shaped emoticons. I hate that emoticon. As much as I hated that cap.

Her:
Its fine to say youre going to Korea, but to add a stupid emoticon, is just too much.
So fucking what if you going to Korea.
I've been to Fuerteventura, Sweden, and next week Malaysia and next month Iceland and Austria.
Do you see me adding stupid emoticons after every location? Yawn.

Me:
U really hate owls o.o

Her:
You've drained enough of my energy and time. Go away.

Me:
Is it because they can turn their heads 360 degrees?

Her:
No its bcoz you giving me live updates of what you and your girlfriend get up to makes me feel angry at your insensitivity.

You trying to gloat is making me feel physically sick when you didn't have the guts to tell me what was going on. I didn't deserve the shit you put me through you squirmy worm like creature.

Me:
LOL I'm squirmy worm? I know that is must be hard for you to get over such a magnificent man such as myself... :O

Her:
I'm over you.
But I have not forgiven the action.
I think you are a small not magnificent man.
I'm angry at what you did but it does not mean I like you still , please don't overestimated your worth

Me:
What action? I don't know what you're talking about? I'd recommend getting off your period once in a while.

Her:
I don't think much of you as a person and don't want you to be in my life in any way; shape or form.
So begone viperous creature.

Her:
I cannot stand you .
You make me sick.
If you think for a minute I like you still then you are way delusion.

Her:
You r a waste of time and space.
Toxic.
Stop wasting my life. Run along and waste someone else's time you little nobody

Her:
I miss u , u Fuck.

Her:
I'm disgusted with myself for lowering my standards so much by going out with selfish, not-so goodlooking person, plus no fashion sense, plus not so smart, plus not so interesting person like you. You're so goddamn ordinary and astoundingly boring but I had actually thought you were good and kind person like Gordon. To find out you are not a nice person either... darn, wasted 1.5 years with a complete loser. I believed all your lies btw, thats one thing you did exceedingly well!!! plus point!!!

Her:
I think I really do hate you. You disgust me. That black cap and mirror sunnies. AAARGH!
Do yourself and the world a huge favour ; ditch that black cap and mirrored aviator sunnies combination. Its a huge fashion FAUX PAS.
I hate that look so much I'd like to sign a petition against it.

Her:
You're stiffer than the Hitler Wax Figure at the Madame Tussaud's museum. In fact if you stand next to him you'd look more like him than he does of himself.

Me:
Did you just have a rectal prolapse?

Her:
You actually bIamed me for not being a mind reader, for failing to read you correctly while you were out canoodling with another girl. And heaping shame or guilt about wanting to have sex is not going to fly with me, I was brought up Catholic, I know guilt-mongering when I see it I mean if you wanna go out with her, go out with her, but all that walk about piss in the river, sleeping in the park, Blow job conversations were you trying to heap your guilt onto me, which I have responded with equally stupid emails that matched your own. I'm not proud of those emails I sent, but if you are allowed to take so much out on me, and be abusive, and boast about your betrayals then I'm entitled to return the favour. I was trying to make the relationship work while you were out with that girl and you had the cheek to say I was trying too hard and then blaming me for not being able to read your mind!

Gordon and I wanted each other to be happy and while we fought like crazy, we were still friends after that. Go out with that girl by all means but stop trying to drag me down, oh I try too hard, oh I wanted sex, oh I rush around like a dynamite, oh I had no idea.

You are a fucking coward, just fuck off.

Her:
Darling, I did love you, just not your rigid black cap. Anyway... next time you piss in river can I come watch?

Her:
I.hate.u

Her:
The more angry with u the more I want u

Her:
I love you really

Fuckin' hilarious; Hamster on overdrive.

>What action? I don't know what you're talking about? I'd recommend getting off your period once in a while.

Nice.  You did the CH under-communication and under-react thing really well.  Let her babble on and act in incomprehension at her madness, don't dive deep into it with her or try to understand it.  

On the relationship: she underperformed, you nexted her, she refused to accept the reasons why she was dumped (Hypoagency).  Like the typical modern woman, she thinks she "deserves" a man but no effort is required on her part.  As Tomassi has said, V-Day was the worst aspect of an already disturbing trend amongst Western women:

V-Day is far and away the most vulgar display of female entitlement. On no occasion – even a woman’s birhtday or her wedding anniversary – is this sense of entitlement more pronounced and our refined commercialization of this entitlement/expectation simply twists the knife in further for men to live up to this with ZERO expectation or entitlement to any reciprocation.

 

Glad you posted this.  She may be history (couldn't tell from your post); but for situations where guys want to keep her around, dread game works.    It used to be girls would change to meet the guy's needs in advance.  Now, they need "dread game" in order to wake up and realize something's seriously wrong.  Most decent guys don't think of using dread game but the psychological effect is vital on women high on entitlement (99.6% of them).

I would suggest this might be the best way to proceed from here ...

Oh I'd already pulled the cord! I was just messing with her at this point really. This wasn't even half of the stuff she sent too, I had over 300 text messages from this chick telling me stuff about how her parents beat her and I was the worst guy she had ever known and how she was seeing some other rich guy who was so much better etc etc.. I would just ignore her but she would always end up wanting me back again after a day or 2.. hilarious!

Women are really nothing more than numbers to me these days.. expenses incurred divided by the probability of getting laid. Even then it's not really worth it, the last girl I dated couldn't even give a half decent hand job :/

As Al Swearengen would say - Loopy broad!

Had to google Al Swearingen.

I was only familiar with Ed Swearingen (Swearingen Aircraft), who built this dream-machine ...



(Well, that's what I get for being a long-time AOPA "air-head.")